The easiest person to ignore is yourself
It’s one of my talents. Ignoring myself. I can give great advice to others, I can even give great advice to myself. But the problem with advice is you have to do something with it. Ignore it, dismiss it, listen to it, act on it. My advice to myself just hangs there, above my head, like some kind of optimistic cloud following me around, hoping one day I might look up and see it.
I went to a business bootcamp with Ruth Kudzi about planning your next 90 days. I love a good plan. The problem with having a plan is not just sticking to it, but knowing when not to stick to it. In December I knew my plan wasn’t working.
Ruth’s parting words were ‘what are you going to let go of to let in this new stuff’. Actually not exact words, more eloquent, but you get the jist. I made a few scribbles… Hobnobs, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, I wondered about giving up Snuggle Truffle my online retail store but crossed that out, and love my Snuggle Truffle brand!
And then along came a very interesting job. Ooooh. I like the sound of that. And it fits my plan. I was very focused on getting a contract for my communications consultancy - it was in my plan. I wanted to do that for 3 months, build up cash flow, then have the next 3 months switching into Another Door, completely focusing on writing my book and running the workshops.
I’ve been in corporate communications for 20 years. I’m sort of addicting. I still have the alerts for Indeed jobs emails. I still follow corporate communications news updates and posts.
So I’ve not fallen out of love for it. That was maybe the problem. I just needed to do something else for a while. I just want a break. So what did I fear? Well I feared that comms would shut me out, they’d move on without me, and if I wanted to return they’d turn their backs. I was asked by someone ‘ but you would only return to comms if you failed, and you arent going to fail?’. Again, I think thats the issue, I like corporate life, in the right job, at the right moment in time. So maybe one day I will go back. I just want to try something different.
Decisions decisions.
So back to this job I really really wanted. I hadn’t heard anything from them. So I made a deadline. Hear by Friday or its move on.
Friday came and went. No news. When I look back through emails Im not not even sure I even applied. We’ve had quite a bit going on recently. My mind has thought alot of things i thought Id done.
Listening to a James Wedmore podcast he quotes ‘ what got you here, wont get you there’. It’s not his quote, he borrowed it from another online coaching guru, who borrowed it from another online coaching guru - they are very shary in this world. So that stuck in my mind.
So I now have two things firmly wedged inbetween decisions about dinner, social media posts, nursery picks… ‘what are you going to let go of?’ say the optimistic cloud, ‘what got you here, wont get you there’ says his friend.
The ‘Another Door’ programme I’ve been developing goes through the phases of feeling shocked, stuck, slowing down, becoming unstuck and thriving. And in the stuck phase it looks at how you create a priority list to start filtering your decisions. The idea is to make decisions that bring you closer to your priority list each time. So things dont happen over night, but if you know where you want to get to, even decisions that don’t feel aligned, you’ll know why you could them, where you are on that journey and you can keep focused.
I’ve worked with several people recently on their ‘Priority List’. They all felt better afterwards, and thanked me for the clarity.
Do you think I have recently worked on my own Priority List?
You know the answer.
I have to let go of the comms contracts. With two offers sitting in my inbox, both great money, but neither fit my ‘priority list’.
So that’s it.
I cant ignore me anymore.
LinkedIn status changed. Side project no more. Full time focus on helping people when they get stuck. Given that its been a running theme for the last 2 years, and I’ve invested alot of money helping me shape my thinking, and my book is all about it… it kind of make sense!
I could feel frustrated that I didn’t do this a few months ago. But I also think things have their own timing. If you are doing the work, and progressing your thinking, eventually you know when the time is right. The fact I got stuck again meant the chapter in the book flowed so easily I finished it in an hour. I only the rest had come so easily!
So here’s to an exciting 2019… not what I had on my original plan. But there is no fun with sticking to a plan that’s not working!
Are you ignoring yourself? Are you seeing signs all around you telling something must change but you just keep on keeping on
If you are working, take the afternoon off on holiday. No emails, no calls. Go for a walk. A big long walk. On your own, With you and your thoughts. If a walk is not practical, try a bit of mediation. Sounds a bit off the wall but just lie on the floor and observe what thoughts come along. Dont worry noone can see you. And even if they can,well its very cool to do this kind of stuff now, so you are being cool.
Write down what you are ignoring as if you are a separate person. I’m ignoring that you feel tired all the time, I’m ignoring that you are unhappy in this job, I’m ignoring that you want to be healthier, I’m ignoring that you really want to be an artist, and paint all day.
3. Are there some small things you can do today that you have been ignoring? Get your tax return done, go and see your Auntie Jane for tea, sort out that cupboard full of stuff. Doing a few little things that have been on your mind for a while will free up space to do other, maybe better things.
And finally if you want to explore further, and want to know more about creating your own priority list. Jump on a call with me. Know knows where it might end up!